In my life, I have been in relationships where God was not the center of the relationship. However, in my relationship with my wife, our faith is important to us. When looking at our Bible, there are specific instructions for the husband and the wife. Early in our relationship, my wife told me that she wanted a Godly man. I will also mention that at that time in my life I wasn't saved, and had never really been taught what God wanted husbands to be. I've learned a lot of what God tells men in regards to being a husband. I think one of the most important is found in Ephesians 5:25-29. The very first statement in this passage is:
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.
When I read this, I see a very clear instruction for me as a husband. We all know that Christ loved the church and would do anything for the glory of his Father, up and including giving his life. I heard my dad say several times growing up when we talked about marriage and how you knew when you were with the right person. He told me one time, when you get married you should love your wife so much that you would give your life to save her's... now I don't know if that's word for word what he said, but it is close. Little did I know then, my father was giving me instructions directly from the Heavenly Father. When I look at my wife today, I do love her so much that I would willingly put myself in harms way so that she could live. I also hate when she is in pain and wish that I could take her pain and carry that pain instead of her.
I want to take you back to Genesis 2:24, which says:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh
As you read on in the Ephesians passage you find Ephesians 5:28:
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
In reading both of these passages, when one gets married you become one flesh, in that if your spouse is hurt, then you will also hurt. If your spouse enjoys triumph then you will also experience triumph. Man is instructed to love his wife as he loves himself. When I read this, I also not only take this as I am to love my wife as my I love my own body, but i believe that part of loving is caring. In that, I believe that on top of loving my wife as my own flesh, I also care for her as I care for my own body.
God also intends for man to be the spiritual leader of the house, in 1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
This statement is telling us who should lead us spiritually, some could read this as...ahh man is supposed to be in charge of the woman... that is not what is being said here. God tells us here that Christ shall lead the man, man shall look to Christ as the leader in his spiritual life. The verse continues saying that the head of the woman is the man, meaning that Husbands should be spiritual leaders in his household, not only leading his wife but also his children.
We have seen how God has instructed men in marriage, but what does he say about women? Look at Ephesians 5:22-24:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
This passage in basically tells wives to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. Men, this doesn't mean that your wife is there to do what you tell her to do, and that you have the authority to tell her how to live every moment of her life. If you look at the church, the daily operation of the church is is in the hands of the leaders. Notice the plural there, the leaders of the church will decide when the grass should be mowed, what kind of decorations are to be put up, when the bills are paid, etc... Now, when the church is facing decisions that will affect the church as a body you will see much prayer, to Christ for guidance. The same holds true in your own household. Husband and wife will make the every day decisions together. The husband is tasked as the spiritual leader of the home, however. The husband submits to Christ and his leadership, as the woman submits to the man. If the husband is a man of God, he will follow Christ's leadership meaning that when the wife submits to the husband, she also is simply following Christ's leadership. Don't believe me:
Genesis 2:18: And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
In this scripture, it doesn't say that God will make Adam a helper which is subordinate to him, no it says "a helper comparable to him" in other words - the man and woman are comparable or equal. I read this as in a relationship the man and woman are equal in that the husband shouldn't be domineering over the wife, nor the wife domineering over the husband. The two should function as one unit, just as instructed by God in Genesis 2:24.
Pray today and ask God to to lead you in your marriage, that he show you ways in which that you and your spouse can grow closer with God and that your marriage can be used to glorify Him. As you grow closer with God so shall you grow closer to each other.
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